So this makes the 3rd week of the Diva Makeover and I am still going strong.  I’ll be honest a sista really is craving some Sour Cream and Cheddar ruffles right about now!  Overall the program is going well, but I know what’s holding me back from seeing incredible results… I am holding on to shit.  Yes I wrote shit and I mean both literally and figuratively.

The Diva Makeover has two parts: Diva Detox and Divatude Coaching.  The thing about detoxing on this level, is that its more than just taking some supplements, eating raw, and drinking lots of water. We call it a makeover because its about all of you not just the inside of your colon.  The Diva Detox takes on detoxifying 4  MAJOR BODY SYSTEMS (Respiratory, circulatory, digestive, lymphatic)

My intention was to put rigor into my life (sticking to my schedule and meeting my goals) as well as clear out my system.

The rigor is in there, I have been taking the supplements, not eating the restricted foods, and sticking to the plan YAY!  However the clearing my system is not going so well   It didn”t make any sense  because I am taking the supplements and drinking water and “doing” everything right, but the reason my system gets sluggish in the first place has nothing to do with what I eat and EVERYTHING to do with my emotional state.

In meditation, it has been revealed to me that I need to stop hold shit in and say what’s on my mind…to EVERYONE.   Sheesh!  That’s scary to me because I have laser insight and sometimes the truth can hurt!  I am clear however, that it doesn’t serve ANYONE for me to keep all that good stuff to myself and I am in fact hurting myself by keeping all this shit inside.

Now this isn’t license to just run around reading people or telling people off, but sometimes the spirit will convict me to say things, or people will even ask me for my opinion and I just hold back.  That is all over for me!  There are a couple of tough conversations I need to have with people close to me, and I am going to go there.

It’s tough because this is life-changing and my fear is that if I take this stand, it could mean some harsh words and a lot of hurt .  I  my family, but at the end the day, I love myself more!  I will be totally straight about this request for organ donation;  my fears, concerns, and conditions.  In reality I don’t know what they will say, so instead of speculating and continuing to worry myself to death about it, I am going to step out there and see what will happen in real life.  I have to be honest, I am scared, but the thing about being A Diva, is that I act in the face of fear.
Stay tuned for updates!

Just got back in town after Black Diamond Ski Weekend 2010.  BDSW is a weekend getaway organized by my sister and me combining our love of fun, friends, music, and snow play!  I started skiing 10 years ago and can honestly say I look forward to winter just so that I can get back out there and hit the slopes.  Trust that as I take my financial situation to the next level I will “Winter” in a warm weather destination AND I plan to take at least 2 – 3 ski trips each year to get in my snow fix.

What I like about skiing is the exhilaration, of it!  The wind whipping by, the serenity of riding the ski lift and gazing upon the beauty of nature.  The adrenaline rush of taking on a new level of skiing as I seek to master this sport!  It’s all fantastic and scary at the same time.

This year I decided to take on snowboarding.  The last time I tried was in 2004 and I got the wind knocked out of me.  At the time I vowed to conquer the board and even went out an bought one to prove it.  For the past 6 years that snowboard has sat in its bag still in the plastic wrap with no bindings!  This year I vowed to break through fear and  challenge myself to go the next level.  So I took the board to the pro shop and got it hooked up!

Then I actually had to go over the bunny hill and try to figure out how to get down the mountain with both feet strapped to a skinny board!  It was a humbling experience to say the least.  Here I am an experienced skier, ready to take on Black Diamonds (finally) and I can’t even make it down the bunny slopes without falling  a million times!  The thing is like anything in life you have to crawl before you can walk.  I got great tips and advice from other beginners and even though I spent all Saturday falling down, but by 5:30p I made it down the bunny slopes successfully before I went in for dinner!

I woke up sore as hell on Sunday ready to call it quits and strap on my ski blades so I could be a superstar and “look good,”  but I didn’t.  I am so proud of myself for honoring my word and sticking with the board another day.  I even took myself up on the chair lift where I proceeded to bust my a$$ over and over again each time I dismounted and then fell down the mountain!  Let’s not mention how scared I was to even get going (check out the video)!

However being A Diva is all about honoring your word and being willing to move past the fear and conquer the learning curve so that you can expand, grow, and become event more phenomenal!  So I stuck with it and fall after fall I started to get more comfortable with board.    By midday, I was able to stay up and even when I did fall, get up quickly and keep it moving!  So I finally made it down the mountain and feel that I understand the basics of snowboarding.  I plan to take a few day trips the rest of the season to add to my skillset and by next year, I will be FABULOUS!

I also honored my pact with The Steak and Rapture to knock out the Black Diamonds on our ski blades!  Yes I wiped out a couple of times, and had to take it REAL slow on a couple of runs, but I did all the ones that were open before heading in to cook some killer Chili for the crew!  I arrived back home sore, bruised, and exhausted but most of I all I know myself to be a woman who takes on life, doesn’t give up, and keeps her word!  I feel like a million bucks.  I give mad props to the inner circle who were so patient and encouraging to me and my buddies Lioness Jade & Peppy Leopard.  They stayed with us on the beginner slopes and cheered us on even though they could have gone off and hit the blues & blacks!  I love having such an awesome support network and am grateful that we were all able to get together for this trip (we hadn’t been together since July!)

As for all the people who flaked out on this trip at the last minute or were just plain wack as we planned, promoted, and prepared, you missed out on an opportunity of a lifetime and know that if  you only stick to what you know, you will never grow, and that means you will never be anywhere but where you are now.  If you are happy with your life exactly as it is, awesome, but most of you know that you want things to change.  You have to be willing to take on the unknown, face your fears, look a little silly while you learn, and trust that its all worth it in the end.  I have been laughing all day at the video footage from the trip and I know that next year and every year after as I get better it will be worth the sore muscles and bruised ego!

Divine Ms O!

1/11/2010

That was one of the questions he asks me during our 2.5 hour dinner meeting.   I pause for a minute before answer because in my mind I think I know where he is going with this, but I choose to answer honestly because you never really know what anyone is going to say until they say it.

“Yes” I say, “and let me clarify.  I admire Oprah because she has accomplished so much and gives so much to the world.  I love her as a human being.  I am inspired by her to know that no matter where you come from and what “they” may say about you, you can do “it”!”

He contemplates a moment as says “Do you think she has helped women?”  I laugh internally, because as deep as he is, I can clearly see the trend of the conversation, but the beauty of speaking with such a wonderfully complex and confident person, is that you can  actually dialogue and not worry about them getting upset or offended.

“Yes, and not just women.  I can’t say that I am a watcher of the Oprah Winfrey show on a regular basis.    Who she is for me has little to do with her talk show of the last 25 years.  At the same time, with that show,  she has brought to the world “THE SECRET,” Ilyanla Vanzant, , Marianne Williamson, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and Eckhart Tolle.  I don’t know that any of those people are women specific, but they certainly have made a difference for lots of women around the world.”

Then he shifts the conversation into a discussion about how people like Oprah, Bill Cosby and other wildly successful Black people could do more than just give money/scholarships and actually start teaching the skills that helped them get to where they are.  Traditional education does not train people to fulfill upon their dreams and beat the odds so “going to college” and “getting an education” are not really solutions the problems in our community.

I totally agree with him, and point out that sometimes people are not even clear how they got to a point, if they do not know, how can they teach anyone else?

Now that I think about, I actually feel like Oprah has done an awesome job of sharing what it takes to fulfill upon your dream.  The teachings of Ilyanla, Marianne, & Eckhart have been priceless to me (cont’d 1/19/2010) as I move forward on my personal path.  The secret to success is out there, but the question is are we seeking the knowledge and are we willing to do what it takes to get it.  No she has not created the “Oprah Winfrey  Guide to Becoming a Billionairess”, but what she has done is share in an open forum her  personal journey.

He says “Do you think she speaks to you as a black woman?” and goes on to ask “Why did she build a school in African and not one in the US?”  He goes on to say that there are plenty of black children here who could use a school, and that she has not dealt with her childhood issues from her rape and other incidents, therefore; she is not helping the black community, and keeps putting up with Stedman’s bullsh*t.

I told I him agree that Oprah has unresolved emotional issues. It’s apparent because she is still struggling with her weight.  The thing is its only a sign that she is not perfect and still a work in progress.  It may very well be that she still has healing to do with the Black American community, and if that is true, it seems to me she is on the right path.

Although I didn’t go there during our conversation I have to add that there is no guarantee that she will work through it all, and I can’t speak to her relationship with Stedman because I don’t follow it, but as far as I know she just hasn’t married him (Not every woman wants the designation “Wife” it is a loaded word and it may be easier to keep the title “companion” or “lover”  and avoid drama of perceived gender roles -more on this topic later).  Emotional healing is challenging and I applaud her for taking on herself and making a difference in the world.

Our conversation took several other twists and turns and between the radio show (Moscato Mondays) and this blog I will touch on more, but YES I do love Oprah! I admire  her and am grateful for all that she has brought to the world.  I am happy that she is moving on to the next phase of her life and ending the show.  I do enjoy the show AND I am happy that she starting her own network!

As it relates to her and the Black community,  her contributions to the world, may not look exactly how we (or at least some Black people) think it should, but not to acknowledge her as a contribution to the world and the black community doesn’t work for me.  You go Girl!

I have been asked several times to share my story and so I will. It feels weird to write my life story when I just hitting mid-life, but maybe that’s the point. I am moving into new phase & I need to complete the past.

I am A(fro) Diva, but it has taken. A LOT to get me here.. Luckily I have kept journals so I have a chronicle of the journey and in the next few months it will be compiled to a book!

Don’t worry, the innocent will be protected!

This is exciting