I responded to a post on one of my favorite blogs and thought I’d share with you!

What Blaire points to is the one of the things that tends to kill of most long term relationships/marriages (lack of sex). It’s true, most women need attentiveness from their mate in order to feel amorous towards them. It doesn’t mean focusing ALL attention on her ALL the time, but it’s the reason couples are being urged to have “date nights.”

Most of the women I know in LTR’s number 1 complaint is that they never go out anymore and/or that “he” doesn’t do nice things for them anymore.

In turn they stop getting “pretty” for him and he complains that she looks a mess. The only solution to this is communication. Women have a responsibility to keep themselves looking nice (yes I said it and so what!) and men have a responsibility to tend their their woman’s attention needs. For all my mother’s out there, it may mean having your honey watch the kids or pay for a babysitter while you go to the salon, spa, or gym to tend to your beauty regimen and guys it may mean putting “girlfriend or wife time” into your calendar so you don’t forget!

This is the game of how relationships work and if you don’t want to play, stay single!

What do you think?

Exoticise Table @ BOCA!

I just got back from BOCA Fest and I am still recuperating. In the past week I got about 15 hours of sleep between last Wednesday and Monday.  So when I got back to the Chi I slept from 3:00p  Monday until 7:00a Tuesday!  I could actually crawl back into bed for a little nap, but I have too much to do!

The event was wonderful.  There was great energy from all the people from the staff to the participants to the other vendors.   I have to say I felt like myself for the first time in a while.  It all started with the completion of the ILP and now this.  The woman I know myself to be sees what she wants and goes and gets it.  That essentially is the definition of a DIVA and baby you are looking at one!

My intention for the weekend was to expose the Belly Dance community to Exoticise and Diva Dance and recruit new instructors from across the country.  I have to say that I fulfilled upon that intention.  Now I did not collect 250 contact cards, but I did about 125.  The turnout for the event was a little lighter than expected, but of the women who did come, the majority of them were excited!  I know I will open up AT LEAST 2 more cities as a result!

It took something for  me to get there, because I did not have it all figured out when I boarded the plan.  I stayed up all night Wednesday trying to finish my instructor training brochure and I simply could not get it together!  I know my program works, but putting into words that communicate it via reading was a challenge.  As I wrote before that last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster and there were a lot of questions I had about “Can I really do this?  Can I take my company national and build an empire dedicated to empowering women to be fit, fabulous and satisfied?”  I know you can have anything you can dream of, but how?  I am one who always wants to know the how and with a dream this big, you can’t always know, but simply have to have faith that it will happen.  So I bought the vendor booth, booked the plane, booked the hotel and took myself to BOCA without knowing how it was all going to unfold.

Thursday night I had a meeting set up with a Diva from Baltimore about working together, and from the moment we met until we parted about 3 hours later I know it was on.  I knew exactly what to say and my creativity just got going.  My writer’s block was gone and at about 12am I completed the brochure and sent it off to Kinkos’ to be printed and folded for pick up in the AM (don’t you just love technology?)!

Friday and Saturday at the event were great.  I was in the perfect location, right by the front door so I encountered all the Divas who came to the Bazaar area!  My neighbors were wonderful too!  On the left were a mother and daughter team who I just fell in love with, and to my write was a Queen (her real name) who was inspiring (she also had fabulous jewelry and clothes for sale). I shopped waaay to much, but everything I bought was beautiful and unique so I am not apologizing! By the end of the weekend I made a bunch of new friends and hope to see them all in Chicago this labor day for the African Festival of the Arts!

My Belly Dancing Class!

On Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed so I could go to and 8am belly dance class and I LOVED IT!!!  Then after wrestling with my fear, I finally sat down to get a reading with the pyschic at the event and when I got up, my mind was blown.  First I got a message from my Mom (she passed away 14 years ago) and she says she is proud of me, but not exactly excited that I am teaching Exotic Dance (I was raised in a rather conservative religious household).  She did say that she raised us to follow our hearts and that if this makes me happy, so be it !

Then I was told that my life partner is coming!  He is going to be fabulous, but that he won’t be here for a little while b/c I need to focus on Diva Dance & Exoticise because this business is about to explode!  That made me very happy because as much as I love you ladies and am committed to you being your most fabulous selves, I want a honey too!  So I am going to be wildly successful with this business having a national impact on women across the nation (perhaps worldwide) and passion and romance.  I can hardly stand it!

Carnival Finale!

This was a hard weekend with 3- 12-hour days and very little sleep but totally worth it.  The performances on Saturday were beautiful with every thing from traditional belly dancing to hip hop belly, pop-lock belly, salsa, latin-folkloric, and mambo.  I can’t wait until I am good enough to be up there in some fantastic get up!

Be on the look out for the Exoticise performce troupe because we are cooking up an exciting show for you!  If you want to learn more about joining the team as an instructor or dancer contact me ASAP!

This Diva and her business are going to the next level.  I still don’t know how it will all workout, but being a true Diva just means knowing that you can have whatever you like and making it happen!

Peace, Love, and Fabulousness !

–> Kania “Afro Diva” Kennedy

after I kept trying to force myself to do more and more, I finally chose to stop. Unlike before, I wasn’t being forced to stop with overwhelming emotions, I powerfully chose to stop because this is not life I am committed to. I created that with the fabulous life I get to live, that my days would filled with grace and ease. I will not struggle and push myself to do what I know needs to be done. So when I find myself working hard and suffering, I know I need to stop and take care of me for a little while

Today on Ms. O’s show, she’s giving the hookup to lots of phenomenal people and I can’t help but shed a few tears and the fabulousness of it all. Today my decision after my morning meditation was to just give up trying to figure it out myself and be a request for contribution.

I am so clear none of these people on the show would be getting ANY of this if they did not make their request known. I was talking with my sister yesterday about the difference between me and my friend Versandra is her willingness to ask/share what she wants and needs.

It’s not that I won’t accept assistance, but I don’t make it a practice to ask for it. As I went through the introductions leader program this past fall/winter, I got present to that. Now it’s about reminding myself about that lesson everyday and remembering to share what I am up AND how I could use assistance to make it happen.

Most recently I had to see that I had not gotten it down yet with this triathlon. I simply did not share with EVERYONE I know what I was up to and request that they contribute. As a result, I fell short of my fundraising goals when I really didn’t have to (Please note I did not withdraw from the event b/c of the money, I just have not been nor plan to train for it in time for the June 13th event).

I struggle with wanting to balance requesting with begging. I don’t want to be seen as the person who is always asking for something. I remember when I was promoting Exoticise and the classes at the studio and an acquaintance said to me “You’re always selling something” I was taken aback and then started to question how I occurred to the world. Her remark was true, I am always up to something AND I always share it with people I meet. It cost money to produce the activities and if someone wants to participate they would have to pay. On the other hand, I don’t want to occur as a “sales person” I really provide something of value and want whoever I talk to see that and choose take advantage of it.

I have gotten a little off track from my original thought, but what I am clear about is that I have much to learn and that if I don’t tell anyone what I need I can never expect it to magically show up.

Take A Bow

I am officially ending my training for the Elkhart Lake Triathlon.  Yes I know many people were looking forward to cheering me on as I crossed the finished line, but its not going to happen this June.  At a little over a month out, I realized that given what I am up to, I am not prepared nor wiling to do what it would take to fulfill upon my commitment to this event.  So all the money I did raise is going directly to LLS in support of ending blood cancers.

I am going to continue to support my teammate Cosette as she finishes strong!   You may donate to her on my behald at http://pages.teamintraining.org/il/weltri09/cyisrael.  So it is with some sadness that I must remove Triathlete from my list of activities, BUT I had a GREAT time training.  I overcame a huge fear of swiming AND rediscovered a love for biking.  I am still not a fan of running, but I had a blast nonetheless.

I urge any and everyone to take on a challenge like this because it really foces you to look at who you are and what you are willing to do.  I will be taking on competitive ballroom dancing because I LOOOOVE to dance and this is one training regimine I will stick with.  Perhaps I will participate in a Dance-a-thon so look out for another opportunity to make a difference!