12/3/09

Or rather lack thereof.  Right now I have decided I am in the Twilight Zone.  The life and the world I am in is not real.  It can’t be.  None of this makes any sense and therefore I must be dreaming.  I am just waiting for the day I wake up.  My latest conversation with a potential partner brought to light what could be the problem.

TRUST!!

There is no trust in the world for most people when it comes to business and I simply don’t operate in that paradigm.  I am not instantly suspicious nor do I assume you are “out to get me.”  So when I approach a potential business partner  I don’t start off in the negative (On the other hand, I do need to trust my gut and cut people loose if they start acting crazy instead of “trying to work things out.”  ).  On the other hand, it seems most people are coming from a space of distrust.  Their conversation is coming from a place of what are you after or what is your “angle” how are you trying to “get me” or “get over on me.”

12/7/09

What is funny is that while I will approach a business relationship with openess and trust I am the exact opposite when it comes to dating.  I am not as extreme to think that men are out to get me, but I see dating as the time to determine if they are a person who I will trust enough to be intimate with (as well as to see if we have anything in common).   Unless I get an initial red flag when we meet I will trust you enough to give you a chance, also known as the opportunity to go on a date with me.

When I look at what is going on around me, people met online at a club or in the street and fall into these insta-relationships.  They claim “I’m in love,” start having sex and “being together” with people they just met, yet these same people WILL NOT DO BUSINESS WITH OTHERS!  This totally supports my Twilight Zone theory.   I will quickly jump into a business relationship because I figure the most we could lose is some money, but I take my time with dating because the worst thing that could happen is that I could have my heart-broken, catch a disease, or end up dead (inviting a psycho to your home is not a good look). I am doing the opposite of the majority of my community, thus why I am soooo frustrated!

I got this insight over this weekend as I was in the Tantra Nova Divine Feminine Workshop.  The faciliator Dr. Elsbeth Mueth pointed out that when it comes to relationships (non-business) I don’t trust!  I had started this post before attending the workshop and when she said that I had an AHA moment.  This was a HUGE Breakthrough for me.

I am going to start approaching business relationships like I approach dating.  I have been very successful at avoiding betrayal and heartache b/c of my approach to dating.  The good thing is that all of my boyfriends have been great , the bad thing is that there have not been than many of them   In reality I would prefer to have had a few business partnerships that were awesome vs  all of the foolishness I have experienced.

As for dating, I’m not really looking to make a major change.  Entering into personal/intimate relationships without a proper foundation is foolhardy.  When people don’t take the time to date/court and establish a basis of trust you get the kind of scenarios people write about on Twitter and Facebook all the time.  Out of not really trusting, yet being in a “relationship” people do things like go through their phone, check their email, and test them on sites like Facebook to see if they are “cheating.”  I see crazy questions on Twitter and Facebook all day like “If you looked in your man’s phone and saw naked pictures of other women and kinky text messages, do you say anything or do you remain silent because you shouldn’t have been in their phone anyway?”

With the few relationships I have had, there has been trust for me, such that even though I have had the pleasure of dating attractive men, I have never walked around fearful that they were cheating on me.  In the instances that I was afraid that they were cheating, I took action to nip it in the bud (turns out it was my own unresolved trust issues with my Dad from childhood vs them really being cheaters, but that’s another post topic).    I have no regrets about that, I just want to know where I can meet some more phenomenal men like my ex’s!

So thank you universe for having me learn this lesson this weekend.  To think, in my depression, I almost didn’t go because I just wanted to  stay home and mope.  So in applying this lesson to businesses, I see some immediate changes that need to be made, it will take longer to get things done, but until there is a shift in my people’s approach business, I have to accept how things are and spend more time “courting” potential partners so that we can establish a trust-based relationship.  I have to be willing to cut people loose when then don’t deliver and have faith that someone else will be sent along to replace them.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 11:11 am and is filed under Business, life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.