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Nov 17

Crying is good for the Spirit

This past month has been unbelievable. Scratch that, the past 2 months have been unbelievable.  Since September 2, 2013, my whole world has been turned upside down…yet again.

 First off, I went off and fell in love!  Yep the Virtuous Vixen is smitten, and it’s wonderful.  So if I’m so happy, why on earth am I writing about crying you ask.  Well secondly, my beloved Sister Kanika Kennedy passed away Wednesday October 23, 2013.  

If I’m so happy, why on earth am I writing about crying?

These two major life events happening so close to one another has been unsettling to say the least and downright mind-blowing from my perspective, so let’s start at the beginning.

I have been on a quest to Manifest Mr. Right for a few years, about 7 to be exact.  During this time I have had to do a lot of personal work and investigation as to what could be in the way of me connecting with and building a life with an awesome man.    Come late August I connected with a man online and have been on an express train to life partnership.  We met in person for the first time Labor Day and have been virtually inseparable ever since.  I would love to share every juicy detail of this evolving romance, but you gotta follow my Virtuous Vixen Blog for those details LOL.  This is about the other big event in my life, the transition of my sister to the next dimension of life.

The transition of my sister to the next dimension of life

I was working as a technology and planning consultant on an event when my sister called to say she was being admitted into the hospital, Thursday September 26, 2013.   Without going into extensive details, I’ll say my sister has had health challenges since her teenage years so I was concerned, but used to the drill.  I checked in on her throughout the weekend and kept in touch with family and friends who were at home (I live in another part of the country) and visiting the hospital to monitor her progress.  

After about a week, she wasn’t feeling better and requested I come home to assist with her recovery.  My event was the first week of October and I promised to come up immediately following.  Throughout the event her requests to come home became more urgent and I started feeling a little anxiety.  When the event wrapped, I took off for home (my new Honey actually drove me all the way home, a 13 hour trip.  He is truly gallant *sigh*).

When I got home she was in a  nursing home rehab facility and in a tremendous amount of pain.   After I had been home for about 3 days she confessed to me that she had Lymphoma and had hid the diagnosis from EVERYONE for over a year!  On top of that she requested I keep the revelation to myself!  My mind was blown and I remained steadfast in my knowing that with God all things are possible, so I continued to look for our miracle.   After a transfer to a better hospital system and 2 surgeries later, we ALL thought she was on the road to recovery. 

She confessed to me that she had Lymphoma 

Photo: Goddess Intellect

Photo: Goddess Intellect

While it looked like a long road, we had a plan in place to facilitate her healing.  When she went into a DEEP sleep Monday afternoon, October 21, we had no idea she was slowly slipping away.  We had been talking and joking on the phone all day and I was heading up to spend the night again. I got there around 8 that evening and she was still sleeping and within 48 of our final conversation she passed away.  

I was shocked…sort of, because the morning she transitioned she came to me in a dream and told me she was ready to start over.  I tried to argue with her, but my sister is stubborn and when her mind is made up, there is no moving her.  When I was awakened by the nurse’s call at 5:00 am, I knew.

That knowing did not stop the tears from flowing and in the 3 weeks since I have had a few cries.  My honey is puzzled by my overall composure and ability to function efficiently in the face of this loss, but this is not my first dance with an unexpected loss.  I lost my Mom in college and in the past 17 years with lots of personal and spiritual development, I have created an uncommon relationship with death.  That being said, YES I experience sadness, but not like most people.  I am grieving the loss of the physical presence of my sister, and; she is with me in spirit.  I feel and hear her presence in my quiet moments, so I am at peace with the situation.

Last night I watched a movie where one of the central characters shares with her loved ones she has cancer and experiences her final days in the presence of her closest friends and family.  As I watched each of the characters process the revelation and acceptance of her pending transition, I was in the theater sobbing.  I was truly touched by the work of the actor’s and the director.  My companions urged me to leave and were getting distraught by my emotional display, but for me it was…therapeutic.  I knew that while at that moment I was experiencing extreme sadness, that if I just cried through it, the emotion/feeling would pass and that I would come out on the other side feeling better.

We cry when we get emotional for a reason.  We cry when we’re happy.  We cry when we’re sad.  Crying helps us move THROUGH the emotion and its important to allow ourselves to experience it and release.   I felt lighter when I stopped.  I also know this won’t be the last time I have a good cry about my Sister.  I still cry sometimes for my Mom.  It’s good for me.  It helps me let go of the pain, the sadness, and create space for joy and happiness.  Crying is truly good for the spirit.

 Crying helps us move THROUGH the emotion and its important to allow ourselves to experience it and release. 

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7 comments

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  1. Candyce Nicole

    What an incredible message, Kania! Thank you for sharing.

    I can’t wait to give you a hug in person! Please know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Thomas

    Thanks for sharing.
    You are absolutely correct regarding the release that the shedding of tears bring, and the manner in which you are handling death is truly admirable.
    I feel that friends are supposed to rally and offer support during times of need, but after seeing you I felt it was I that required more support. I truly failed you in that aspect, but what’s most important is the fact that you are holding up well, so with that I take solace.
    On a different note, I am happy to hear of your new found love, and look forward to hearing more juicy details.
    :]

  3. Leslie Nicole

    This is the way you will heal. There will be many more tears and yes crying is therapeutic, I have always thought of crying as God’s way of cleansing the soul. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Take care

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