This Shorts Are Fabulous
Someone please help me understand why Michelle Obama’s shorts are newsworthy? Then help me understand how to alliveate the self-hatred so many of my people have.
Last night was crazy. I was on my way to Vixen rehearsal (Yes Exoticise has a dance troupe), and I turned on the radio (I’m going to be on “The Kendall Moore Show” this Saturday to promote Diva Dance & My Goddess Retreat!). It’s a black talk-radio station here in Chicago AM 1690 WVON that I wasn’t really aware of so I thought it best to inform myself about their listenership before I went on the show.
As I tune in, they are talking about Michelle Obama’s shorts and how she was setting a poor example for black women and the country because she wore shorts on Air Force One. I didn’t know anything about this controversy, but based on what I know about Mrs. Obama I just knew this was some foolishness. To me Michelle Obama does a great job of being stylish and sophisticated without being too uptight. Then they move to a discussion about how as a black woman she should be in more conservative in her dress because of our history. I decide call in and say something. I really have an issue with suppressing womens self-expression. I also wanted to share that I find Michelle Obama to be a wonderful role-model for young women.
As I am on hold waiting to get through, dude segues into a conversation about how what’s holding black people back is not society but cultural things like giving our children “ethnic names” and not achieving in school. He goes on this rant about how when he was in school they starting bussing in these “black kids” (mind you Dude is black) and they teased him about carrying books home and being “white.” Then he says that his daughter is dealing with the same thing at her private school. His comments were along the lines of “these scholarship kids come in and tease my daughter about being too white, and I tell her we’re paying full tuition so ignore them.” So I am activated. See I was a scholarship kid at a prestigious private school and I encountered kids like his daughter, but the too white had nothing to do with their academic achievement (more on that later). Then he continues to ask his guest, this Older Woman, if she is concerned about what will happen to her neighborhood when they start building the “affordable” housing. He asks if she will be upset when the teens start coming downtown stealing and hanging out on the corner with their pants hanging down.
At this point I am confused. I thought I called into a Black talk radio show, but it seems like I am listening to Rush Limbaugh or something! He takes my call and mispronounces my name
“Kena, Kana…” I correct him and start talking. I say something like “I initially called to comment on the Michelle Obama topic, but now I have two comments. I’m 33 and I was one of theose scholarship students…”
Him: “You are not a young woman.”
Me: (pause) “As a young man I find Michelle Obama to be.”
Him: “You are not a young woman”
Me: “I guess its a matter of perception, to me I am a young woman, you don’t have to agree”
Him: It’s not a matter of perception, you are not a young woman at 33, it’s reality
Me: Everything is a matter of perception, let’s agree to disagree
Him: No its reality, but I guess if you’re 30 years old and in school you would think that
Me (in shock at his audacity): I am not in school
Him: You said you were a scholarship student
Me: I was a scholarship student at a prestigious private school AND I was at the top of my class even though I didn’t pay full tuition. I have since graduated from Duke University with a degree in Electrical and Computer Engineering and I now have my own business. Based on your comments I have to say that while I agree that it is cultural practices that are holding us back, I think it has a lot to do with people like you who practice intra-racial stereotyping.
Him: You have your own business? What did you do before?
Me: I was a director at a Community Center
Him: OOOOH a comuuunity center it figures
Me: Like I said, as long as we keep making distinctions within our race between the haves and the havenots we will never move forward
Him: I guess with a name like Kania you would think that.
He then goes on a brief tirade about “ethnic names” and how other immigrants name their children Jack
Me: While I agree that other cultures often adapt more American first names they also maintain a strong cultural connection with their middle names AND/OR they make sure to educate their children about their history to instill pride. We are so busy running from and being ashamed of our history that we are not providing a strong foundation for our children
Him: That is foolishness, they don’t give their children ethnic names!
Me: What are you talking about I know people like this, I went to school with them! They send their kids to classes to learn about their history and we are so ashamed of ours that we try to pretend it didn’t happen, when we should be proud that we survived and continue to thrive. Until we start to embrace who we are and get okay with the past, we will never be able to have a new future…
SILENCE
He ended the call! Let me clarify this is not verbatim, but as much as I can recall from the exchange. Also, I do not think I am young as in 21 but young as in I know I have much more to learn about life and the world. Given that I expect to live to at least 100, I haven’t hit the midway point yet baby!
I am pulling up to the studio and turn up the radio. I hear him say to his guest “So do you think we should be cultural like the last caller? Should we wear braids and dreadlocks, is that acceptable now?” As she starts to answer I turn off the radio and head into practice. I think this was this show “The Other Side with Charles Butler” I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about him
I could go on and on with so many points about this dialogue, but I have work to do, so I will try to keep it brief. I have encountered black people like him before. I find them quite interesting and a little sad. When I went off to my private school it was interesting. I met African Americans who had no clue about their own history and culture. As “lifers” at this predominately white schools, and with parents who didn’t supplement, they were never educated about their people outside of what they read in US history.
I on the other hand was fortunate enough to grow up in a diverse neighborhood (my first best friends were white) AND had a very afro-centric family living across the street. The Smiths really educated my family about a lot of things including Kwanzaa. Moreover my middle school, celebrated Black History Month with a black history quiz show and my elementary school always celebrated Black History Month too. My parents bought the Ebony Pictorial History of Black America and I read all volumes (3 in total I think).
When I got to my expensive independent high school, and found out that they didn’t celebrate Black History Month,didn’t give students MLK Day off, and started encountering very ignorant and racist people, I found myself becoming quite militant. During my time there we started a Black History Month Celebration and formed 4A (The African American Awareness Association). Although I don’t remember it, apparently I made a speech to the school where I called everyone out on being prejudiced before I graduated. At the same time, I was at the top of my class in AP classes and holding it down at home too.
When I say a lot of the “lifers” where too white, it has nothing to do with the fact that they speak proper English and are high academic achievers, because I do too and get clowned for it a lot from some of the ignorant people in my community. I mean they actually sound white by the tone of their voice not the words that they use. This is very prevalent with males who often affect a nasal or very soft tone of voice. They think white in that they are not familiar not comfortable with their community because many of them did not grow up around black people and are often a little afraid of them. They often are confused and struggle with self-image because they do not look like white people, particularly women, who have kinky hair that requires different care and often have larger rear-ends! They often are unaware of racism and typically have a rude awakening in their late teens/early twenties once they leave the confines of their childhood community and friends and enter the regular world where they find out what it means to be and have to deal with all the struggle that goes along with being Black in America. I don’t/didn’t dislike these people and am friends with alot of them, but notice a difference. Apparently when I first started at the school, I changed too because I was immersed in this environment. My Dad said they were a little worried until I got it together.
What I see missing in our community is pride. I am not ashamed that I am descended from slaves. Slavery happened and it was awful. I am proud that my people survived it AND have managed to influence the world with our gifts. We created a culture when the slave-masters did everything thing that could think of to strip us of our heritage and humanity. We are strong, resilient, and glorious. I love everyone in the African Diaspora: Black-latinos, SOCA family, Brazillian fam, and my African fam. I love my Kinky hair which I can wear straight, twisted, curled, braided, or any way I please. I loooooooove melanin rich skin which provides protection from the sun and helps me age so beautifully. I love my hips, thighs, and butt which keep the men (of all races) panting as I sashay down the street. I am so confused by people who hate being black when all I can see is fabulousness!
Dude on the radio has some serious issues as do many of my brothas and sistas. You cannot run from your history or your people. You are black and no amount of money or education will ever change that. We need to support our “community” centers so that we can educate our less fortunate family members so that they are not stealing, hanging out on the corner with their pants sagging, and looking down on education. It is quite a challenge to get people like him to contribute to black charities. Don’t get me wrong, his type will give, but to well-established non-profits that often do not focus on our community or our issues. He’ll say its b/c those organizations are run better, but in reality, if people like him would support our institutions, serve on boards, and volunteer, ours could be run better too! Don’t get me started on the challenges I faced trying to raise money for black non-profit agencies!
While serving as a Director at a community center in Detroit, I studied the Jewish Community as a model of how to run a community supported center and talk about organized! They give BIG money and make sure their kids know their history and don’t apologize for it! I see the potential in our community and am committed to making a difference, but talking to people like him just reminds me of how far we have to go. Between the ghetto people who don’t see the value of education and often have no hope for the future, and the unconscious bourgeoisie, who want to try their best to be white and shun all things black, I get tired just thinking about the task ahead. So instead of thinking about the end goal, I am going to stay present and do one thing at a time!
) so that your body is not struggling to get up.
) in office and the world is weighing in with their opinions. Therefore, I just want to take a moment and recap on a statement I made at the beginning of our first meetup. I’d like everyone that’s apart of CB to reflect on the feeling you felt when you first realized Obama would:
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