Divine Ms O!

1/11/2010

That was one of the questions he asks me during our 2.5 hour dinner meeting.   I pause for a minute before answer because in my mind I think I know where he is going with this, but I choose to answer honestly because you never really know what anyone is going to say until they say it.

“Yes” I say, “and let me clarify.  I admire Oprah because she has accomplished so much and gives so much to the world.  I love her as a human being.  I am inspired by her to know that no matter where you come from and what “they” may say about you, you can do “it”!”

He contemplates a moment as says “Do you think she has helped women?”  I laugh internally, because as deep as he is, I can clearly see the trend of the conversation, but the beauty of speaking with such a wonderfully complex and confident person, is that you can  actually dialogue and not worry about them getting upset or offended.

“Yes, and not just women.  I can’t say that I am a watcher of the Oprah Winfrey show on a regular basis.    Who she is for me has little to do with her talk show of the last 25 years.  At the same time, with that show,  she has brought to the world “THE SECRET,” Ilyanla Vanzant, , Marianne Williamson, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and Eckhart Tolle.  I don’t know that any of those people are women specific, but they certainly have made a difference for lots of women around the world.”

Then he shifts the conversation into a discussion about how people like Oprah, Bill Cosby and other wildly successful Black people could do more than just give money/scholarships and actually start teaching the skills that helped them get to where they are.  Traditional education does not train people to fulfill upon their dreams and beat the odds so “going to college” and “getting an education” are not really solutions the problems in our community.

I totally agree with him, and point out that sometimes people are not even clear how they got to a point, if they do not know, how can they teach anyone else?

Now that I think about, I actually feel like Oprah has done an awesome job of sharing what it takes to fulfill upon your dream.  The teachings of Ilyanla, Marianne, & Eckhart have been priceless to me (cont’d 1/19/2010) as I move forward on my personal path.  The secret to success is out there, but the question is are we seeking the knowledge and are we willing to do what it takes to get it.  No she has not created the “Oprah Winfrey  Guide to Becoming a Billionairess”, but what she has done is share in an open forum her  personal journey.

He says “Do you think she speaks to you as a black woman?” and goes on to ask “Why did she build a school in African and not one in the US?”  He goes on to say that there are plenty of black children here who could use a school, and that she has not dealt with her childhood issues from her rape and other incidents, therefore; she is not helping the black community, and keeps putting up with Stedman’s bullsh*t.

I told I him agree that Oprah has unresolved emotional issues. It’s apparent because she is still struggling with her weight.  The thing is its only a sign that she is not perfect and still a work in progress.  It may very well be that she still has healing to do with the Black American community, and if that is true, it seems to me she is on the right path.

Although I didn’t go there during our conversation I have to add that there is no guarantee that she will work through it all, and I can’t speak to her relationship with Stedman because I don’t follow it, but as far as I know she just hasn’t married him (Not every woman wants the designation “Wife” it is a loaded word and it may be easier to keep the title “companion” or “lover”  and avoid drama of perceived gender roles -more on this topic later).  Emotional healing is challenging and I applaud her for taking on herself and making a difference in the world.

Our conversation took several other twists and turns and between the radio show (Moscato Mondays) and this blog I will touch on more, but YES I do love Oprah! I admire  her and am grateful for all that she has brought to the world.  I am happy that she is moving on to the next phase of her life and ending the show.  I do enjoy the show AND I am happy that she starting her own network!

As it relates to her and the Black community,  her contributions to the world, may not look exactly how we (or at least some Black people) think it should, but not to acknowledge her as a contribution to the world and the black community doesn’t work for me.  You go Girl!