The Diva Makeover has two parts: Diva Detox and Divatude Coaching.  The thing about detoxing on this level, is that its more than just taking some supplements, eating raw, and drinking lots of water. We call it a makeover because its about all of you not just the inside of your colon.  The Diva Detox takes on detoxifying 4  MAJOR BODY SYSTEMS (Respiratory, circulatory, digestive, lymphatic)

My intention was to put rigor into my life (sticking to my schedule and meeting my goals) as well as clear out my system.

The rigor is in there, I have been taking the supplements, not eating the restricted foods, and sticking to the plan YAY!  However the clearing my system is not going so well   It didn”t make any sense  because I am taking the supplements and drinking water and “doing” everything right, but the reason my system gets sluggish in the first place has nothing to do with what I eat and EVERYTHING to do with my emotional state.

In meditation, it has been revealed to me that I need to stop hold shit in and say what’s on my mind…to EVERYONE.   Sheesh!  That’s scary to me because I have laser insight and sometimes the truth can hurt!  I am clear however, that it doesn’t serve ANYONE for me to keep all that good stuff to myself and I am in fact hurting myself by keeping all this shit inside.

Now this isn’t license to just run around reading people or telling people off, but sometimes the spirit will convict me to say things, or people will even ask me for my opinion and I just hold back.  That is all over for me!  There are a couple of tough conversations I need to have with people close to me, and I am going to go there.

It’s tough because this is life-changing and my fear is that if I take this stand, it could mean some harsh words and a lot of hurt .  I  my family, but at the end the day, I love myself more!  I will be totally straight about this request for organ donation;  my fears, concerns, and conditions.  In reality I don’t know what they will say, so instead of speculating and continuing to worry myself to death about it, I am going to step out there and see what will happen in real life.  I have to be honest, I am scared, but the thing about being A Diva, is that I act in the face of fear.
Stay tuned for updates!

What I like about skiing is the exhilaration, of it!  The wind whipping by, the serenity of riding the ski lift and gazing upon the beauty of nature.  The adrenaline rush of taking on a new level of skiing as I seek to master this sport!  It’s all fantastic and scary at the same time.

This year I decided to take on snowboarding.  The last time I tried was in 2004 and I got the wind knocked out of me.  At the time I vowed to conquer the board and even went out an bought one to prove it.  For the past 6 years that snowboard has sat in its bag still in the plastic wrap with no bindings!  This year I vowed to break through fear and  challenge myself to go the next level.  So I took the board to the pro shop and got it hooked up!

Then I actually had to go over the bunny hill and try to figure out how to get down the mountain with both feet strapped to a skinny board!  It was a humbling experience to say the least.  Here I am an experienced skier, ready to take on Black Diamonds (finally) and I can’t even make it down the bunny slopes without falling  a million times!  The thing is like anything in life you have to crawl before you can walk.  I got great tips and advice from other beginners and even though I spent all Saturday falling down, but by 5:30p I made it down the bunny slopes successfully before I went in for dinner!

I woke up sore as hell on Sunday ready to call it quits and strap on my ski blades so I could be a superstar and “look good,”  but I didn’t.  I am so proud of myself for honoring my word and sticking with the board another day.  I even took myself up on the chair lift where I proceeded to bust my a$$ over and over again each time I dismounted and then fell down the mountain!  Let’s not mention how scared I was to even get going (check out the video)!

However being A Diva is all about honoring your word and being willing to move past the fear and conquer the learning curve so that you can expand, grow, and become event more phenomenal!  So I stuck with it and fall after fall I started to get more comfortable with board.    By midday, I was able to stay up and even when I did fall, get up quickly and keep it moving!  So I finally made it down the mountain and feel that I understand the basics of snowboarding.  I plan to take a few day trips the rest of the season to add to my skillset and by next year, I will be FABULOUS!

I also honored my pact with The Steak and Rapture to knock out the Black Diamonds on our ski blades!  Yes I wiped out a couple of times, and had to take it REAL slow on a couple of runs, but I did all the ones that were open before heading in to cook some killer Chili for the crew!  I arrived back home sore, bruised, and exhausted but most of I all I know myself to be a woman who takes on life, doesn’t give up, and keeps her word!  I feel like a million bucks.  I give mad props to the inner circle who were so patient and encouraging to me and my buddies Lioness Jade & Peppy Leopard.  They stayed with us on the beginner slopes and cheered us on even though they could have gone off and hit the blues & blacks!  I love having such an awesome support network and am grateful that we were all able to get together for this trip (we hadn’t been together since July!)

As for all the people who flaked out on this trip at the last minute or were just plain wack as we planned, promoted, and prepared, you missed out on an opportunity of a lifetime and know that if  you only stick to what you know, you will never grow, and that means you will never be anywhere but where you are now.  If you are happy with your life exactly as it is, awesome, but most of you know that you want things to change.  You have to be willing to take on the unknown, face your fears, look a little silly while you learn, and trust that its all worth it in the end.  I have been laughing all day at the video footage from the trip and I know that next year and every year after as I get better it will be worth the sore muscles and bruised ego!

Divine Ms O!

1/11/2010

That was one of the questions he asks me during our 2.5 hour dinner meeting.   I pause for a minute before answer because in my mind I think I know where he is going with this, but I choose to answer honestly because you never really know what anyone is going to say until they say it.

“Yes” I say, “and let me clarify.  I admire Oprah because she has accomplished so much and gives so much to the world.  I love her as a human being.  I am inspired by her to know that no matter where you come from and what “they” may say about you, you can do “it”!”

He contemplates a moment as says “Do you think she has helped women?”  I laugh internally, because as deep as he is, I can clearly see the trend of the conversation, but the beauty of speaking with such a wonderfully complex and confident person, is that you can  actually dialogue and not worry about them getting upset or offended.

“Yes, and not just women.  I can’t say that I am a watcher of the Oprah Winfrey show on a regular basis.    Who she is for me has little to do with her talk show of the last 25 years.  At the same time, with that show,  she has brought to the world “THE SECRET,” Ilyanla Vanzant, , Marianne Williamson, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and Eckhart Tolle.  I don’t know that any of those people are women specific, but they certainly have made a difference for lots of women around the world.”

Then he shifts the conversation into a discussion about how people like Oprah, Bill Cosby and other wildly successful Black people could do more than just give money/scholarships and actually start teaching the skills that helped them get to where they are.  Traditional education does not train people to fulfill upon their dreams and beat the odds so “going to college” and “getting an education” are not really solutions the problems in our community.

I totally agree with him, and point out that sometimes people are not even clear how they got to a point, if they do not know, how can they teach anyone else?

Now that I think about, I actually feel like Oprah has done an awesome job of sharing what it takes to fulfill upon your dream.  The teachings of Ilyanla, Marianne, & Eckhart have been priceless to me (cont’d 1/19/2010) as I move forward on my personal path.  The secret to success is out there, but the question is are we seeking the knowledge and are we willing to do what it takes to get it.  No she has not created the “Oprah Winfrey  Guide to Becoming a Billionairess”, but what she has done is share in an open forum her  personal journey.

He says “Do you think she speaks to you as a black woman?” and goes on to ask “Why did she build a school in African and not one in the US?”  He goes on to say that there are plenty of black children here who could use a school, and that she has not dealt with her childhood issues from her rape and other incidents, therefore; she is not helping the black community, and keeps putting up with Stedman’s bullsh*t.

I told I him agree that Oprah has unresolved emotional issues. It’s apparent because she is still struggling with her weight.  The thing is its only a sign that she is not perfect and still a work in progress.  It may very well be that she still has healing to do with the Black American community, and if that is true, it seems to me she is on the right path.

Although I didn’t go there during our conversation I have to add that there is no guarantee that she will work through it all, and I can’t speak to her relationship with Stedman because I don’t follow it, but as far as I know she just hasn’t married him (Not every woman wants the designation “Wife” it is a loaded word and it may be easier to keep the title “companion” or “lover”  and avoid drama of perceived gender roles -more on this topic later).  Emotional healing is challenging and I applaud her for taking on herself and making a difference in the world.

Our conversation took several other twists and turns and between the radio show (Moscato Mondays) and this blog I will touch on more, but YES I do love Oprah! I admire  her and am grateful for all that she has brought to the world.  I am happy that she is moving on to the next phase of her life and ending the show.  I do enjoy the show AND I am happy that she starting her own network!

As it relates to her and the Black community,  her contributions to the world, may not look exactly how we (or at least some Black people) think it should, but not to acknowledge her as a contribution to the world and the black community doesn’t work for me.  You go Girl!

I am A(fro) Diva, but it has taken. A LOT to get me here.. Luckily I have kept journals so I have a chronicle of the journey and in the next few months it will be compiled to a book!

Don’t worry, the innocent will be protected!

This is exciting

He said I was the last person my beloved should listen to regarding the direction of his life! I asked why and my friend said I had “ulterior motives”

I bring this up b/c the universe just blessed me with a new relationship model to share with the world. In this model one of your roles is to support, encourage & assist your partner in finding/ pursuing their life’s purpose.

No where on this model do you give them bad advice just because it would suit your wants/ needs/ desires.

Real love is not selfish. Real love is self less. When I broke up with my beloved. 10 years ago I was selfish & young. I was afraid he would hurt me so I ended things before he had the opportunity to do me wrong. I didn’t think about how it would affect him.

When we hooked up again (as friends) years later and his job offered him a position out of the country, I encouraged him to go even though it broke my heart to watch him leave. By that time I had grown up enough to understand that it wasn’t about me and what I wanted.

In the four years since I have had to learn that love is also unreasonable and that real love doesn’t fade. Now that he is at a crossroads in his life where once again he is being presented the opportunity to follow is heart (bliss) or continue to follow the world (hell) I see that love wants me to be his friend and champion EVENTHOUGH he is engaged to and having a baby with another woman!

Love says I will send you another beloved, but he needs you to support and encourage him in stepping into his greatness because the woman he is with is a “dream-crusher” and is slowly killing his spirit.

So while I do love him AND would love to have him as more than a friend, Love won’t let me remove myself from his life just because I can’t have him the way I want him. Love won’t let me have “ulterior motives” and the intent to seduce or entice him because the man who is ready for a woman like me will choose me and will not need to be convinced!

So the is real love and its not easy but it is awesome. I just wonder how many people really love their honey. And how many are really using their significant other to get what they want in life?

There was a discussion on twitter and on a blog I read about “Winter Boo” loosely defined as a person you hook up with from around thanksgiving until just before valentines day. The topic disturbed me because it is an example of how we intentionally use and abuse people for our own selfish desires.

To start a relationship with someone knowing from jump that you plan to cut them loose. Soon thereafter lacks honor, consideration, & integrity, unfortunately this is what people seem to be up to

What’s so awesome about this new model is it reflects a new trend in the world of designing your life vs. following a pre-set path!  Your first priority is to be a HUMAN BEING and the relationship is there to support you in fulfilling upon your PASSION!  How fabulous!

This will be broken down more in my upcoming book on creating and maintaining phenomenal relationships!

Technology Can Be Fun!

If you have a small business and you know that you could be using technology to make it more efficient, but have no idea where to start, YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!

I am the Techno Diva, a technology consultant specializing in how to help small business use technology to get ahead, like the big companies do. I hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Electrical & Computer Engineering from Duke University and have successfully started and continue to run a small business. The one thing that has allowed me to manage my company and stay competitive is the use of technology.

Techno Diva Training  Services

• Securing Your Domain Name
• Developing a Web Presence for your Business
• Setting Up Email (Business & Personal)
• Setting Up Online Payments / Accepting Credit Cards Online
• Managing Events Easily
• Taking your business national
• Making your office mobile
• Managing your Contacts & Schedule
• Using Social Networking to grow your company
• and much more more!

Rates

• Initial Consultation – Free
• Each Session $50/hr
• Webinars $25/each

Contact Me to set up your initial consultation!

What are You up to?

I am up to creating a phenomenal life and making a difference in the world!  Everything I do is about realizing my end game, a life that I love to life everyday.  The fun is in the journey and this journey is truly a trip!

Living into such an inspiring future can be a bit over-whelming, my blog chronicles the journey with all its twists, turns, valleys and peaks and the rest of my website serves a a resource for anyone interested in joining me as a client, partner, or friend!  Visit my site often to get updates on what’s new!

END GAME

Romance: I have a Loving, Exciting, Supportive, Passionate, Sexy, Satisfying, Romantic Marriage with a Tall, Handsome, Interesting, Spiritual, Wealthy, Community Minded, Ambitious, Accomplished Man!

Career:  I have a prosperous, profitable company that is empowering women financially, emotionally, physically, and bringing balance to the world with femininity.

I am an award-winning author, motivational speaker, and life-coaching helping men and women live lives that inspire and fulfill them.

Family: I have 2 Biological children (1 Boy & 1 Girl) and 2 – 5 adopted children who are loved, well-behaved, smart, successful, HAPPY, respectful, spiritual, passionate, and UNSTOPPABLE!

Community: I have an Effective Community Organization that is postively transforming the psyche of the Black Community through education and empowerment.

Life, Health & Well-Being: I live a long-life, with great health, awesome friends, peace of mind, love, strength (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual), beauty (Internal & external), fitness, grace, humility, confidence, prosperty, adventure, and PASSION!

If you want to create an End Game that not only inspires you, but helps guide your daily decisions to create a live that you love, consider becoming one of my coaching clients.  I am taking on 3 New Coaching Clients for January 2010 FREE OF CHARGE, if you want to be one of the lucky ones, contact me ASAP!

Or rather lack thereof.  Right now I have decided I am in the Twilight Zone.  The life and the world I am in is not real.  It can’t be.  None of this makes any sense and therefore I must be dreaming.  I am just waiting for the day I wake up.  My latest conversation with a potential partner brought to light what could be the problem.

TRUST!!

There is no trust in the world for most people when it comes to business and I simply don’t operate in that paradigm.  I am not instantly suspicious nor do I assume you are “out to get me.”  So when I approach a potential business partner  I don’t start off in the negative (On the other hand, I do need to trust my gut and cut people loose if they start acting crazy instead of “trying to work things out.”  ).  On the other hand, it seems most people are coming from a space of distrust.  Their conversation is coming from a place of what are you after or what is your “angle” how are you trying to “get me” or “get over on me.”

12/7/09

What is funny is that while I will approach a business relationship with openess and trust I am the exact opposite when it comes to dating.  I am not as extreme to think that men are out to get me, but I see dating as the time to determine if they are a person who I will trust enough to be intimate with (as well as to see if we have anything in common).   Unless I get an initial red flag when we meet I will trust you enough to give you a chance, also known as the opportunity to go on a date with me.

When I look at what is going on around me, people met online at a club or in the street and fall into these insta-relationships.  They claim “I’m in love,” start having sex and “being together” with people they just met, yet these same people WILL NOT DO BUSINESS WITH OTHERS!  This totally supports my Twilight Zone theory.   I will quickly jump into a business relationship because I figure the most we could lose is some money, but I take my time with dating because the worst thing that could happen is that I could have my heart-broken, catch a disease, or end up dead (inviting a psycho to your home is not a good look). I am doing the opposite of the majority of my community, thus why I am soooo frustrated!

I got this insight over this weekend as I was in the Tantra Nova Divine Feminine Workshop.  The faciliator Dr. Elsbeth Mueth pointed out that when it comes to relationships (non-business) I don’t trust!  I had started this post before attending the workshop and when she said that I had an AHA moment.  This was a HUGE Breakthrough for me.

I am going to start approaching business relationships like I approach dating.  I have been very successful at avoiding betrayal and heartache b/c of my approach to dating.  The good thing is that all of my boyfriends have been great , the bad thing is that there have not been than many of them   In reality I would prefer to have had a few business partnerships that were awesome vs  all of the foolishness I have experienced.

As for dating, I’m not really looking to make a major change.  Entering into personal/intimate relationships without a proper foundation is foolhardy.  When people don’t take the time to date/court and establish a basis of trust you get the kind of scenarios people write about on Twitter and Facebook all the time.  Out of not really trusting, yet being in a “relationship” people do things like go through their phone, check their email, and test them on sites like Facebook to see if they are “cheating.”  I see crazy questions on Twitter and Facebook all day like “If you looked in your man’s phone and saw naked pictures of other women and kinky text messages, do you say anything or do you remain silent because you shouldn’t have been in their phone anyway?”

With the few relationships I have had, there has been trust for me, such that even though I have had the pleasure of dating attractive men, I have never walked around fearful that they were cheating on me.  In the instances that I was afraid that they were cheating, I took action to nip it in the bud (turns out it was my own unresolved trust issues with my Dad from childhood vs them really being cheaters, but that’s another post topic).    I have no regrets about that, I just want to know where I can meet some more phenomenal men like my ex’s!

So thank you universe for having me learn this lesson this weekend.  To think, in my depression, I almost didn’t go because I just wanted to  stay home and mope.  So in applying this lesson to businesses, I see some immediate changes that need to be made, it will take longer to get things done, but until there is a shift in my people’s approach business, I have to accept how things are and spend more time “courting” potential partners so that we can establish a trust-based relationship.  I have to be willing to cut people loose when then don’t deliver and have faith that someone else will be sent along to replace them.