Dec 04

Adventures in Dating: Off My Game

I crack myself up sometimes.   Here  I am on this journey to Manifesting Mr. Extraordinary and yet sometimes I’m off my game.  This past Friday I had to different opportunities to practice my flirting skills and I was not on my game at all!

Incident #1

I’m at the gas station getting ready to go to dance class deep in thought about how I have to make fitness a top priority again when a voice catches my attention.  It’s a man and he’s saying something like

“Yo ma, you know you got it going on right?”  

Now I’m in workout gear, no makeup, cute, but not fabulous, and I am honestly caught off guard!  I am truly surprised b/c I was feeling kinda blue that day, not at all lovely.  In addition, it took a moment to register that he was speaking to me and he continued to walk away as he spoke.  As I get it together I say

 ”Thank you”

accompanied by a smile (always be polite and grateful for a compliment).  As he continues to walk away he’s saying something, I can’t really hear but I think its

“Do you mind if I leave my name and number with you?”  

Again my reaction is delayed as I try to decipher the statement (he’s kinda of far away now), and then I remember I am being “open” to meeting men who are polite.  So I stammer out something like

“That’s okay…um…sure”

but by now he’s almost all the way to his car, so I’m thinking he didn’t hear me.  As I finish pumping my gas and get in the car, he pulls off and I start laughing b/c

a) I always get men approaching me when I think I look the most random (IMO)

b) It has been so long since a man actually spoke to me like a normal person, I truly didn’t know how to react.

Well Mr. Gas Station gets an A for effort, the compliment was great and the request to stay in touch was nice too.  If I had to offer some coaching, the “walk & holla” probably isn’t the most effective way to get a woman’s attention.   I didn’t see him first of all and because he just starting talking “at” me vs “to” me (meaning coming over and establishing a connection) it took a while before I “got it.”  Now the man opens with “Yo, ma”  probably isn’t my type, but I can and do appreciate a simple compliment as a way to initiate a meeting.  

I on the other hand have to stay present so I’m not caught off guard again if I happen to meet Mr.Extraordinary while pumping gas!

Incident #2:

Then I went dancing that same night because I was clear that what was missing from my life was dance.  I was initially planning on going to a movie after my class, but after an awesome Belly Dancing class I was ready to keep it moving.  So I checked my Facebook & email and got a couple of invites to the same event promising a mature (28+) crowd and good music.  I decided to get “dressed” so I pulled a new dress, I had in the closet, but had never rocked before.

I have to admit its a fabulous dress (otherwise I wouldn’t have bought it), so I felt good b/c I felt like I looked good.  I wear a pair of TALL  platforms even though I KNOW it makes me “Glamazonian” but there is just something about how I look and feel in high heels, that can’t be beat.  Like I said I had been in a bit of a funk last week, so I needed some ego-therapy, there is nothing like looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling like you look hott!

I’m at the party and this guy says something like

“Look at you looking like a bottle of champagne!”

I have to admit it made me smile and when I thought about it, the dress does put you in the mind of bottle of champagne (gold metallic on top and a full black bottom).   I love it when a man is able to wrap a compliment up in a creative observation!   I automatically said “thank you” and  and smiled.  Nothing wrong,  but had I been on my game I could have replied with something sassy like “Thank you, do you like champagne?.”   That would have opened the door for further conversation vs the “thank you and smile,” which while polite puts the work back on him to further the discussion.  Alas, I am a work in progress when it comes to the flirting/witty banter and the more I practice I am sure the better I will get, but Friday I was not on my game AND I had a great time while out!

Stay tuned for future adventures in dating as I share my journey to the relationship of my dreams with Mr. Extraordinary!

Read More at VirtuousVixen.com

1 comment

  1. Brittany

    goodnight. Maybe even said I had a good time , as people tend to say, but even if not. You could have said simnthoeg to her to the effect of, you had a nice time, but the two of you aren’t a match. And that would leave it clear that you aren’t going to contact her.But it takes just a bit of guts to do this face to face. Ok, so the next day you get the first sms. WHY NOT SMS HER BACK SAYING THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. (yeah, did the horrible caps locks thing. sorry).It’s simple. It’s short. It’s easy. Waiting on the other end not knowing makes people crazy. And she must have been pretty damn crazy to begin with. Why string her along????I don’t excuse her behavior. It was awful. But yours wasn’t good either. Not interested say so!

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