Dec 31


Many men have bought into the notion that women (particularly Black women) are struggling to find a man and therefore desperate. They read the articles about the “man shortage” and think something like

“I’m (a good man in his own opinion) in demand, so if I drop this Hello/Hi in her inbox/DMs she’ll be happy to get some attention and respond.”

Problem is that “shortage” or not, most halfway attractive women get a ton of random friend requests (without even a hi/hello) or a bunch of “hi/hello beautiful.” Just like we get cat-calls and leers in the streets (hi/hello is the digital equivalent to “hey shawty”), and ignore those as well.

We (healthy women) are not on Social Media to get random male attention. Liking a million pictures = whistling as we walk by, it doesn’t set you apart from all the other men appreciating our appearance. We are however, OPEN to engaging with men who are interesting.

The key to gaining the attention/response from a healthy woman is making a POSITIVE mental and emotional connection. That comes by taking the time to craft a greeting that is personal, respectful, and intriguing. It doesn’t have to be an “elegant poem,” as one gentlemen though. Look at this example

“Hello ______, I truly enjoyed what you said about _______. I was thinking something similar. Have you ever considered/heard about _________? I am curious to find out what is in that mind of yours. Beauty plus brains is so refreshing.”

This simple message fulfills on many key requirements.

  1. Demonstrates you see something interesting about her OTHER than her physical appearance.
    1. By referencing a certain comment/post you demonstrate you have done more than look at her pictures.
  2. You show some sort of knowledge or insight.
    1. Intelligence is a huge turn on to many women.
  3. Gets her thinking. Thinking about something you said or recommended = connection.
  4. You express interest in getting to know her as a person, not just “know” in the Biblical sense.
    1. Women get messages verbal and otherwise from men all the time about how he’d like to have sex with her, set yourself apart from the masses. Asking her a non-sexual question will prompt a response.
  5. Establishes the interest is not just platonic/intellectual. Many men end up in the friend-zone because in not coming from the “I wanna sex you up” approach, they NEVER acknowledge their interest lies beyond the platonic.
    1. The “beauty +brains” portion is a low-key way to pay her a compliment/acknowledge her attractiveness AND let her know you are digging her mind too!

I hope this helps!

Being a single man makes you ELIGIBLE, being that guy who makes her think, smile, and feel desired for more than her body creates INTEREST. INTEREST–> RESPONSE. Once you get the response, your wit and charm can shine! Good luck!


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